Monday, October 29, 2012
Journal #10: About Writing
Since the start of the year, I have defineitely seen improvement in my writing. I think mainly the success is in the development of my own writing style, which I was lacking. Now, actually, I think that is one of my strengths, writing in that style. However, this is also a weakness: when I have to write in another style, it is not as strong as I would like it to be. This leads into what I would like to explore more of; I think that it would be beneficial to me as a writer to focus more on other styles of writing, not just the one that I have developed. All in all, though, I have definitely improved as a writer since the beginning of this class, and I am glad.
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Journal #9: Us and Them Responses
1. The main emotion in this reading seems to be confusion, particularly in the narrator. Sedaris very effectively, I think, showed the main character's confusion with the Tomkeys. The main way the narrator expresses their confusion is by attributing the Tomkeys' "weird" behavior to the fact that they didn't have a TV in the house.
2. Two parts I found humorous were, "It occurred to me that they needed a guide, someone who could accompany them through the course of a n average day and point out all the things they were unable to understand," and, "Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable." I thought that these were humorous mainly because of the style, but also because the narrator seemed so ignorant to the fact that people can live "non-normal" lives just fine.
3. Sedaris built the characters through interactions with other characters, adding details where necessary. For instance, I only learned that the narrator was a boy at the end of the story, but that wasn't important. Sedaris gave the important details, like the fact that he was curious about the Tomkeys and that chocolate bothered him that really mattered in the story.
4. The dialogue was used very well in this story. It was used when characters were talking about other characters, mostly. So, it added a layer of mystery to the Tomkeys, almost. The most powerful line of dialogue, though, was when the mother told the narrator to, "... really look at [themself]," because it showed such a dramatic change in the family's attitude.
2. Two parts I found humorous were, "It occurred to me that they needed a guide, someone who could accompany them through the course of a n average day and point out all the things they were unable to understand," and, "Asking for candy on Halloween was called trick-or-treating, but asking for candy on November first was called begging, and it made people uncomfortable." I thought that these were humorous mainly because of the style, but also because the narrator seemed so ignorant to the fact that people can live "non-normal" lives just fine.
3. Sedaris built the characters through interactions with other characters, adding details where necessary. For instance, I only learned that the narrator was a boy at the end of the story, but that wasn't important. Sedaris gave the important details, like the fact that he was curious about the Tomkeys and that chocolate bothered him that really mattered in the story.
4. The dialogue was used very well in this story. It was used when characters were talking about other characters, mostly. So, it added a layer of mystery to the Tomkeys, almost. The most powerful line of dialogue, though, was when the mother told the narrator to, "... really look at [themself]," because it showed such a dramatic change in the family's attitude.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Journal #8: "Champion of the World" Responses
Meaning:
1. It seems like the author's purpose in writing this story was to offer a different perspective on how Blacks felt during slavery. The story offers what excited them. I like the angle that the author took, making Joe Louis the protagonist.
2. I think the author and the story audience share the same views. The way the author made the outcome of the fight seem so special, exciting, important makes me think that. The big connection was that their pride was directly related; if Louis won the fight, it proved that Blacks were the strongest in the world.
Writing Strategy:
1. The first sentence ("The last inch of space was filled, yet people continued to wedge themselves along the walls of the Store"), I think, serves not only as a hook but as a way of starting the reader off with the fact that what was about to happen was very important.
4. The direct quotation makes the story into a narrative; it shows, rather than tells what the audience was feeling during the match. For example, when they all yell "NO!" when the contender is trying to get back up, it really adds emotion to the story.
1. It seems like the author's purpose in writing this story was to offer a different perspective on how Blacks felt during slavery. The story offers what excited them. I like the angle that the author took, making Joe Louis the protagonist.
2. I think the author and the story audience share the same views. The way the author made the outcome of the fight seem so special, exciting, important makes me think that. The big connection was that their pride was directly related; if Louis won the fight, it proved that Blacks were the strongest in the world.
Writing Strategy:
1. The first sentence ("The last inch of space was filled, yet people continued to wedge themselves along the walls of the Store"), I think, serves not only as a hook but as a way of starting the reader off with the fact that what was about to happen was very important.
4. The direct quotation makes the story into a narrative; it shows, rather than tells what the audience was feeling during the match. For example, when they all yell "NO!" when the contender is trying to get back up, it really adds emotion to the story.
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Journal #7: College Essay Responses
1-- This essay bored me to tears. It is so cut and paste that it seems like a computer wrote it. I guess technically the format is okay, but it's the content that makes the essay unenjoyable. Besides, the fact that it says "[College X]", the fact that it mentions a college at all, just doesn't make this essay shine for me at all.
2-- Too repetetive. The writing feels very choppy, and I think that can be attributed to the fact that there's no variety in sentence structure. And besides, there's an entire paragraph that is unnecessary (the second one). This essay might have potential, maybe, with the whole "goals are important" idea, but it would need to be completely rewritten. The essay is very impersonal, and it ends on the statement that he has not achieved a goal. This essay just doesn't do it for me.
3-- This essay. I was very impressed by the writing style, as well as how confident the author had to be to write an essay like this. It says absolutey nothing about him as a person, only in his competency as a writer. It is very entertaining, though. I think that this essay is one of the better college essays that I have ever read, and it is certainly memorable.
4-- CLICHE. AIEEE. Also, every word on a new line is capitalized. It's a sports essay and an essay about a dog. That's a double cliche. That's not okay. The essay did seem like it was written with meaning, but I think more could have been done with it.
5-- This essay is pretty well written, and it draws emotion, which is good. However, it highlights more of the author's family than it does the author. It is more about the experience and less about what they learned. It think that if this essay took a better approach, it could be very nice.
6-- Great hook. Great word choice. Very well written. This is another essay that I like. It, too, details an experience, but it concludes with how the experience affected the author. The essay is also very entertaining to read. All in all, a very nice essay.
7-- This essay is interesting. It takes the common "comment on an experience that influenced you" prompt to a different level. The author comments on three aspects of their life that influenced them, but concludes with stating that the biggest influence on the author was the author them self. Decently well written entertaining to read. I like it.
8-- Sports essay. It's written about how football will help the author be a better person. I do not like this essay.
9-- Another very well written essay. And it touches on a very sensitive topic. It, too, tells a story and then how it affected the author. I enjoyed the style, as well as the essay itself.
If I had to accept only five of these essays, they would be numbers three, six, seven, and nine without a doubt. These four are written with a style that put them above the rest of the essays, and are entertaining to read. As for the fifth, it's tough. I think, though, I have to go with number five, mainly because of the interesting spin it takes. As for the two that get scholarships, those of course would be numbers six and nine. They responded to the prompt well, it was written in a unique voice, and they were entertaining to read.
College Essay Info Packet Response
One of the best pieces of advice that the packet gave me was making sure that the author focuses on their authentic voice, and not writing about what they think the college wants to hear. It seems like the success of essays is directly related to how unique they are, and that uniqueness can be achieved through the author's own voice. Another is to not use flowery language. Often times colleges can see this as pretentious, and such language does not portray the author in a flattering, or accurate, light. The last piece of advice that I found really helpful was to not try just one version. Sometimes the author might have a good topic, but they need to rewrite their essay (not just drafts) a few times to get the right approach. This task can seem daunting, but in the end proves helpful.
2-- Too repetetive. The writing feels very choppy, and I think that can be attributed to the fact that there's no variety in sentence structure. And besides, there's an entire paragraph that is unnecessary (the second one). This essay might have potential, maybe, with the whole "goals are important" idea, but it would need to be completely rewritten. The essay is very impersonal, and it ends on the statement that he has not achieved a goal. This essay just doesn't do it for me.
3-- This essay. I was very impressed by the writing style, as well as how confident the author had to be to write an essay like this. It says absolutey nothing about him as a person, only in his competency as a writer. It is very entertaining, though. I think that this essay is one of the better college essays that I have ever read, and it is certainly memorable.
4-- CLICHE. AIEEE. Also, every word on a new line is capitalized. It's a sports essay and an essay about a dog. That's a double cliche. That's not okay. The essay did seem like it was written with meaning, but I think more could have been done with it.
5-- This essay is pretty well written, and it draws emotion, which is good. However, it highlights more of the author's family than it does the author. It is more about the experience and less about what they learned. It think that if this essay took a better approach, it could be very nice.
6-- Great hook. Great word choice. Very well written. This is another essay that I like. It, too, details an experience, but it concludes with how the experience affected the author. The essay is also very entertaining to read. All in all, a very nice essay.
7-- This essay is interesting. It takes the common "comment on an experience that influenced you" prompt to a different level. The author comments on three aspects of their life that influenced them, but concludes with stating that the biggest influence on the author was the author them self. Decently well written entertaining to read. I like it.
8-- Sports essay. It's written about how football will help the author be a better person. I do not like this essay.
9-- Another very well written essay. And it touches on a very sensitive topic. It, too, tells a story and then how it affected the author. I enjoyed the style, as well as the essay itself.
If I had to accept only five of these essays, they would be numbers three, six, seven, and nine without a doubt. These four are written with a style that put them above the rest of the essays, and are entertaining to read. As for the fifth, it's tough. I think, though, I have to go with number five, mainly because of the interesting spin it takes. As for the two that get scholarships, those of course would be numbers six and nine. They responded to the prompt well, it was written in a unique voice, and they were entertaining to read.
College Essay Info Packet Response
One of the best pieces of advice that the packet gave me was making sure that the author focuses on their authentic voice, and not writing about what they think the college wants to hear. It seems like the success of essays is directly related to how unique they are, and that uniqueness can be achieved through the author's own voice. Another is to not use flowery language. Often times colleges can see this as pretentious, and such language does not portray the author in a flattering, or accurate, light. The last piece of advice that I found really helpful was to not try just one version. Sometimes the author might have a good topic, but they need to rewrite their essay (not just drafts) a few times to get the right approach. This task can seem daunting, but in the end proves helpful.
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Journal #6: Celebrate Your Nerdiness
Over my seventeen years, I have come to realize that I have some qualities of something many people would call a nerd. Though, at this point, this "nerdiness" is normal to me. It is normal for me to have eight watches, normal to spend a half hour every day trying to assemble the right parts for building a desktop PC, normal to wear Galaga and Star Wars shirts. In fact, I am known to frequently "nerd-out"; when I know a great deal about a topic, I have the tendency to just spew all of it, whether or not anyone is actually listening. One of my proudest nerdy moments was when I proved to a friend that Han Solo did actually shoot first (in the original releases of the film Star Wars Episode IV, Greedo didn't shoot at all. When they remastered the films in the '90s, George Lucas added in Greedo shooting first and missing so as to not affect Han's moral character. But I digress.) If i've learned one lesson about nerdiness, it's to be proud of it. Every so often I'll wear two to five watches, just because I can. One of my goals before I go off to college is to be able to have "Superhero Week", in which for five or seven days I wear superhero shirts. As of right now, I only have Batman and The Green Lantern, but I'm working on it. Celebrating nerdiness is something that at first seems daunting, or seems like it could ruin one's social image. Since I have embraced it, though, I have no regrets.
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